Asking for Advice: How Do You Reconnect?

Alright, ladies! One of our readers needs your advice! Please leave a comment below and help her out!

Hello Ladies,

Hubby will be home tomorrow afternoon from his 18/9 hitch. This hitch has been really hard and we have been fighting constantly. Tomorrow when he arrives, our girls will be at their Grandma’s house and I will be at work, so I want to plan an exciting afternoon for both of us. (I will be off of work with in a couple hours after he arrives). So, any ideas? What have you done for your hubby that was special and brought back the romance between the two of you?


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About melissa

Melissa is the Founder of ROW and has been an oilfield wife for 14 years. She has been married to a wonderful man forever and is mother to six amazing children (17,14, 10, 10 and 2 and a foster baby!). Melissa knows the struggles that come along with the oilfield life. When Melissa isn't helping her little girl battle her brain tumors (Love for Jazmine Joy), she loves to travel, laugh, tend to her chickens, and dream of sunshine and mountains.


  1. If my dh comes home while I’m at work, I leave a note right where he’ll see it when he comes in the door – just a short “I love you and I’m glad you’re home safely”. Then I make sure his fav. snack and drinks are there for him. If you leave a little romantic note trail for him to follow (be creative and bring in memories/things that are just between the two of you), he could be in a very happy mood when you get home. 🙂

  2. 25 years ago, when I became an oilfield wife, the men didn’t get days off. They stayed on location until the job was done. The longest we have gone without seeing each other is 93 days, and that’s only because I traveled to see him!
    I can tell you, that in my situation, my hubby preferred to come home, relax, catch up on conversation, have a home cooked meal and see his kids. The romance came later when the kiddos were in bed!
    I also, used to sneak a card or two into his things before he left. Just to remind him what’s waiting at home!

  3. If you guys have been on edge with each other (and we’ve all been there), I think the best thing is not to plan anything exciting as soon as he comes home. Sometimes we try so hard that we end up trying too hard, and when the plan doesn’t exactly work out “perfectly”, then it creates more stress. Just my opinion, but, I would have the kids make a Welcome Home Daddy sign, then on your way home from work, pick up some food. Then just the two of you get comfy in bed, have a picnic right there and do some good old fashioned talking. My husband works offshore overseas. When he comes home, after his shower, we just lay in bed and talk…about all kind of things. Get things right between you two, get rid of this last hitch, just be together. My husband finds that the most exciting thing about coming home…our alone time.

  4. Jennifer Highmoor says:

    I agree with Traci. Plan something simple & intimate so you can talk. Our lives are all so busy and jam packed full of activities that for our guys it’s often a relief to just relax. If the weather’s nice a walk would be ideal…nature always nourishes the soul and helps us feel grounded and at peace. If weather isn’t good, the bedroom picnic is great. Offer a back rub or a bath for two if he seems in the mood for romance. After the chaos, stress and confusion they often face away it’s nice for them to find peace and R&R when they arrive home. And a lot of times the fighting while they’re away comes from their job stress and is misdirected at us, the one who loves and will forgive them.

  5. christina says:

    My Husband is working in North Dakota and we live in PA. His last hitch he flew into Altoon PA which is 5 hours from our house. I had grandma keep the kids for the night and got a nice hotel room where we could just relax, talk, and reconnect ourselfs. It was nice not to have the distraction of house chores or children, it was just us. We went and got dinner and just over all had a date night. After going so many days with out seeing each other, that first day back is very important. I would suggest you can order his fav food or maybe if you have the time cook it. Rent a good movie, snuggle up in bed and just enjoy each other. Don’t set exact plans cause sometimes you can get more upset that it didn’t go as you wanted and then it takes away for you enjoying him being home. Best bet would be either meet him at the door, or driveway give him a great big hug and a nice long kiss and tell him how much you love and miss him, and appericate everything he does for your family, and let it go from there. I know my husband and I fight alot while he is gone but its because I find myself upset that I am left alone to take care of everything around the house, and kids. He finds himself upset that he isn’t there to help me and I have to do it all myself, along with missing out on school trips and meets for the kids. but the mintue he is home he will relax and so will you. Just enjoy each other and his limited time home…good luck.

  6. Me and my hubb fight as well while he is home and out we arent marries but live together

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