Being Strong

Beautiful woman flexing biceps - high key shot in studio

I met a woman a few weeks back who has absolutely zero experience dealing with the oilfield. Her boyfriend lives close by and they see each other every single day. Her boyfriend, who served in the Army with Hubby, was picking Hubby’s mind about working in the oilfield. I wasn’t surprised at all when she turned to me during the conversation to say, “You know, I just don’t know how you handle it. I would want my husband home with me every single night.” Trust me, Sister. I do, too. I just don’t have a choice.

How many of you have heard this question at least twice? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it well over a dozen times in the almost year and a half Hubby has been in the oilfield and well over that amount the five years I was a military wife. Every time someone tells me, “I just couldn’t handle what you go through,” I just want to look at them and say, “Yeah, you could if you had no other choice. You wouldn’t like it. You would be lonely and sad for a while, but you would handle things because you wouldn’t have any other option. Being in love with a man in the oilfield leaves you no other option than to deal with it.”

I think we have all learned that while it might not get easier, you become somewhat used to the lifestyle. In my mind being with my husband six months out of the year is better than living a life without him. So, instead of caving to the pressure and emotions we create friendships with women we have never met but share the life and can lend an understanding ear. We pick up new hobbies and learn to lose ourselves in them to block out the feelings that can sometimes get too heavy. We have a schedule we follow while he is away and that we promptly throw out the window when he is home. We learn to live life according to our husband’s hitches and days off.

In short, we just do what we have to. You aren’t born to be an oilfield wife, you are thrust in it and must learn to survive.

I didn’t marry my husband because he put out an ad for a strong wife who can handle extended separations. No, I married him because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, how could I let that incredibly handsome Cajun man just walk out of my life because he would eventually be deployed? The deployment to Iraq was stressful to say the least, but we came out on the other side even more prepared for this life that we had no idea we would eventually be living.

Now, I’m not saying anything bad about anyone who has ever asked me how I do the things I do. Honestly, it makes me feel like Super Mom/Wife sometimes and, who doesn’t like an ego boost? The next time you get asked how you do it, don’t get aggravated with the person doing the asking. Just tell them that you are strong because you have to be and that they probably would be too if faced with the same situation. Like the old saying goes, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

How do you handle these types of questions? What support groups and hobbies help you make it through the tough times? Shout them out in the comment section below or send me a tweet

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About Jaimie

Jaimie is 26 years old, wife of five years to JR, and mother of two beautiful children: Ashley, 4 and Justin, 1. When not spending time with her family, and watching movies based on Jane Austen novels, she finds new ways to live a healthy and fulfilling life. Jaimie lives in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Follow Jaimie on Twitter or on her blog, Education of an Oilfield Wife!


  1. my husband has been in the oilfield for four years and when he first left for his first hitch i was freaking out.. i cried alot and begged him to find something else. But as time went on i realized that this made a way i can stay home and give my kids my full attention. I have come a long way since the beginning..

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