To Go Back To Work Or Not To Go Back To Work?

backtowork

It’s been nearly a year since I made the decision to stay home with my son and homeschool. I thought by now I would be adjusted to this new lifestyle, but lately I’ve found myself questioning my decision. This insecure feeling has no doubt been compounded by the fact that at 7 months pregnant there is very little that I can do about it at the moment.

When I was growing up I was raised to believe that had to get a degree and obtain a high powered job or else I would be a failure. This was doubly reinforced when, after having my son, I was told that by having a child I was wasting my degree. This type of thinking has been driven so deeply into my brain that it’s no wonder that a year after leaving the workforce I am having second thoughts.

However, after reading an article that came out recently about the relationship problems faced by female breadwinners, I realized that no matter what I do someone is going to find fault with it. I’ve been the primary breadwinner, which the article claims can be detrimental to the relationship between my husband and I. I’ve been the working mom which some will tell you was detrimental to my child. And right now I’m a stay at home mom, which some will tell you means that I am either lazy or wasting my degree. Having worn all of these hats with all of the criticisms that come with them, the only conclusion I can come to is that the only thing I can do is to do what’s best for me and my family.

Does the lack of my own income still completely freak me out? Yep! Am I uneasy about not contributing to my own 401K, not carrying my own insurance, and having reduced credit options? Definitely! On the other hand, do I really want to give up the experience of watching my son learn and grow through the homeschool process? Nope. Or give up the ability to spend time with my husband in North Dakota and have the option to come home for the winter? I don’t think so. It’s definitely been a balancing act to rectify all these things in my mind. At the end of the day though, while I do still have some reservations about this stay at home mom gig, I think that for the moment it is the best decision for my family, but even more importantly it’s the best decision for me.

Of course I wouldn’t mind a highly lucrative job that allows me to stay home, but doesn’t require me to do customer service on the phone or join an MLM. Unfortunately, I haven’t found that position just yet. But, if you have leads on one of those magical unicorn positions, feel free to send it my way!

I’d also love to hear your stories and advice for balancing stay at home parenting with the self doubt that sometimes goes along with it. Leave me a comment and tell me about it!

About chelsea

Chelsea is mama to 4 year old Will and partner to her oilfield man and best friend of 16 years, Jacob. She splits her time between the family’s camper in the North Dakota Oil Patch and a small urban homestead in Kentucky. Chelsea writes about the family’s camper adventures at www.talesofanoilfieldgypsy.blogspot.com. She is a batik artist and loves teaching others about the art of batik at www.beautyofbatik.com. She can also be found working on her other sites www.chelseaniehaus.com and www.urbanagricultureinfo.com. In her moments of spare time she enjoys knitting, sewing and gardening.

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