Oilfield Infertility

Oilfield InfertilityLadies, I’m penning a new medical term today.  First, you must know that my background includes zero medical schooling or experience. Obviously, I’m a good choice to be creating my own medical terminology.

My new term:  Oilfield Infertility.

Oilfield Infertility:  where one struggles to get pregnant while husband is in the oilfield.  Primary difficulty is being unable to “get down” during the small fertile window.  Woman with oilfield infertility for some reason are not only infertile when their spouse is home, they are typically menstruating.

When one has Oilfield Infertility they will go to great lengths to discover when the fertile window is and how they can see their husbands. Research includes hours of googling search terms, reading message boards, books, and a random person’s infertility blog.  Women will have the calendar app, possibly a basal thermometer, ovulation predictor kits, and be checking body signals.

The next step for a woman is trying to figure out how to spend time with her bedmate.  For some, during a hitch, this is impossible.  Their oilman can be offshore, out of the country, or a long drive away.  For a lucky few, they live within driving distance of an oilman’s work.  Nothing can kill a mood quicker than a woman joining a man at his man camp.  Problems with staying at a man camp include, but are not limited to, the following:  roommates, uncleanliness, or it may be against company policy for wives to be at a man camp.  Some women will choose to rent a hotel room, if they can even find one.  This can result in spending over $200/night for a room at the Super 8 and it will be super, indeed.  The last option to visit a man in the oilfield is to have purchased a RV.

The woman will have checked body signals/ tracked her cycle, driven to the oil patch, secured housing, and be ready to go.  At this point, the husband has just completed a minimum of a 12 hour shift.  He will be operating on very little sleep.  He will enjoy seeing his beautiful wife, but turn and say, “Honey, can we not do it tonight, I’m so tired.”   Several scenarios can happen after this statement.  The woman will work her magic, get what she wants, and everyone goes to bed happy.  The woman could start crying.  The woman could get sexually aggressive.  This will either make the man happy or scared.  It is well known that women in the midst of Oilfield Infertility will take the one thing men like more than air or water (aka “getting down”) and make it into an less-than-enjoyable task.

Now she waits.

During the waiting period, many will offer their advice.

Advice, such as:

“Just relax”

The woman will be confused at this statement, because no amount of “relaxing” will fix the problem that is trying to get pregnant while her partner is gone 50-70% of the time.

“ Have you tried NOT trying?”

In the oilfield, this is also known as “abstinence”.  Women are confused by this as they always thought that you had to “get down” to even get pregnant….???

If one of your loved ones experience “Oilfield Infertility” please do not give unsolicited advice or opinions.   Sometimes they could be on drugs with a hormonal rage.  Research has shown that giving unsolicited advice and/or opinion will make a woman want to slap you or avoid you. Please provide prayers or just plain old friendship without judgment instead.

If you are experiencing “Oilfield Infertility” or any other type of infertility please seek out other women who may be in your same situation.  You are not alone even though you may feel like it at times.  This includes women who are struggling to get pregnant after prior successful pregnancies.  God has a plan for you and your family.  1 in 8 women experience infertility and I am one of those women.

About LC

Howdy! LC and her Oilman live in the ‘burbs north of Austin, TX. She is a real estate broker, but you won’t find her face on a bus bench and she doesn't drive a Cadillac. Oilman works in Texas as a Completions Consultant. Don’t worry, most people don’t know what that title means either. LC calls him frac guru, for short. She may be the only woman in America that hated both "Twilight" AND "50 Shades of Grey". Oilman and LC like wine, good music, their two dogs, and cervezas in Central America. Follow the adventures of LC and Oilman at: www.LivingOilfieldLife.com or on Instagram at: living_oilfield_life

Comments

  1. LC, sound as if you and I have a lot in common! Not only is my husband a “frac guru/completions consultant” but we also have been struggling with infertility for the last 3 years. So we also spend time with our spoiled laborador/child and go on vacations when he’s finally at home for a bit but of course it’s never during our *fertile* time. I wish you and your husband luck with conceiving. We have decided to go the IVF route since once I have his little swimmers, I have the freedom to get this done weither he’s home or not, just like all the other household duties. 🙂

    P.S. I also think I’m one of the few people who couldn’t stand 50 shades and twilight. I can’t stand controlling/unhealthy possessive relationships being idolized.

  2. My husband and I ran into this as well, and we found that the best thing women can do is talk to their OBGYN as birth control pills can alter the timing of the menstrual cycle to coincide with the two weeks on/off mess we often run into!

    • Oh and I hated Twilight, and never read 50 shades of Grey ;). But yeah my husband and I ran into this too, we had to work with our OBGYN for ways to alter scheduling.

  3. Thanks for the comments guys! Aimee, you and I might be kindred spirits. We have been trying for 3 years and have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility by our reproductive endocrinologist. We did do IUI earlier this year. You CAN do cryo with IUI and freeze the swimmers so your man’s schedule isn’t an issue. We ended up with a miscarriage after that treatment. Your PS is part of the reason why I hated those books.

  4. I can’t imagine TTC while navigating hitches. You have my utmost respect. We had a very hard time conceiving our first so I’m familiar with temping/charting and RE’s and tests and treatments. I made some lifelong friends on the internet when we were going through that journey. Just wanted to say I’m pulling for you!

  5. LC, I’ll definitely say a few prayers for you and your husband. It was bad enough with just schedule complications, much less with the added medical complication. It just throws a whole new wrench into the mix.

  6. Suffering from oilfield infertility right now. Its so upsetting and disappointing and yes there is no point in driving 5 hours in the hope for 10 minutes before he passed out. Ugh

  7. SOOO TRUE CURRENTLY DEALING WITHH O.F.I….NO FUN AND I FEEL LIKE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN FOR ME! THOUGH I PRAYY LOVING THE “NEW TERM”

  8. Thank you so much for sharing this! I had a miscarriage on Monday after 9 weeks. We were SO excited that I was pregnant — our first, and I’m 42.. He was able to be home for the appointment, but no heart beat. My surgery was this Wednesday, also the first day of his hitch. We spoke after surgery in the morning, but he never called to check on me til I called HIM at 10pm. Our relationship is only a year old. Hard to think he was THAT busy, too busy setting up to call during such a difficult time. This industry sure makes relationships hard… 🙁

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