Stop Judging, Start Loving

WY-ROWWhy do we do this to each other as women?  I’ve done it.  I’m sure you’ve done it.  We take something that has happened, put it through our own filter of personal experiences and think someone has wronged us or doesn’t understand us.  We are OFFENDED.  We are going to let them know about it.

When Oilman started in this industry, it was a very difficult time for me.  Work sucked.  I was used to being able to support myself financially and my straight commission income had gone down by 60%.  When you are self-employed, no one tells you that you are about to get a pay cut, it just happens.  I used credit cards and lines of credit to pick up the slack.  Oilman and I were still in the stages of combining finances as a couple.  Part of the reason that Oilman was working so hard is because of the stupid financial decisions I had made on my own.  I felt like scum.  I missed my husband.  He was exhausted.  Everything in my life felt like it was in turmoil.

I was angry.  I was embarrassed.  I had lots of guilt.  It was then that I decided to rip into a close friend of mine because I felt like she wasn’t being supportive enough.  I ripped into her big time.  It wasn’t pretty.  We didn’t speak for the next two years.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this.

When I have been the ugliest to others is when I’m in a period of extreme stress.  I’ve burned bridges with people because I have had a severe case of diarrhea of the mouth and I’m too quick to judge.  I judge based on what I see on the surface.  It’s like watching a duck on the water.  Up top, they seem to lazily be floating, while underneath the surface little legs are kicking with ferociousness.

We can’t always see what is underwater with others.  We don’t always know the full story when we rip into someone.

In early February, maybe you ran into me at the grocery store.  I seemed unfriendly to you, you were sure of it.  Did I think that highly of myself?  Did I think I was better than you?   Maybe I’m just not a very nice person, you decide.  Maybe you write me off after that point.  You couldn’t have possibly known that I had just received the results of my blood test after our first fertility treatment.  We had a positive pregnancy test.  The blood test revealed an HCG level of 14.  It wasn’t good news.  We weren’t going to be parents after all.

Let’s decide to cut each other some slack from time to time.  Maybe that other person we think just wronged us has their own thing going on in life.

I love how Melissa shared what was going on.  She has a full plate.  Can we as oilfield wives commit to praying for her and her little one who is going through chemo?  Sarah H, I bet she’s a good person as well.  She’s probably got something going on in her own life right now.  She probably needs our support.  Let’s pray for her as well.


About LC

Howdy! LC and her Oilman live in the ‘burbs north of Austin, TX. She is a real estate broker, but you won’t find her face on a bus bench and she doesn't drive a Cadillac. Oilman works in Texas as a Completions Consultant. Don’t worry, most people don’t know what that title means either. LC calls him frac guru, for short. She may be the only woman in America that hated both "Twilight" AND "50 Shades of Grey". Oilman and LC like wine, good music, their two dogs, and cervezas in Central America. Follow the adventures of LC and Oilman at: or on Instagram at: living_oilfield_life


  1. Word. Very well said!

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