I Hope You Know

I Hope You KnowI don’t know if it is the sweet holiday season, or the fact that I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for almost a full year now, or if it has finally hit me how quickly my baby girl is growing up, but I’ve found myself in a sentimental state lately that I can’t seem to shake. Maybe it’s the magic in the soft glow of her face as she looks at the Christmas tree as if all her hopes lie within it. There is simply something about looking at your toddler and thinking to yourself “there is so much I want you to know”.

Our daughter is two and a half now, and she’s finally begun to realize that Daddy doesn’t have a normal daddy schedule. Its apparent that she’s her daddy’s girl through and through, and it is beginning to bother her that she isn’t able to spend time with her ‘dada’ for 14 long days. To her, I can’t imagine how long that must be (I know it’s a long time for me!). In kid time, that’s like 42,000 episodes of Mickey Mouse (how we gauge time at the present moment). Anyway, she doesn’t understand why daddy can’t come with us to the mall, or to Grandma’s house, or to story time. However, she does understand that it hurts her feelings. We have taught her to say “work” when people ask where Daddy is (before she’d say “night night”, as Ryan is on morning tower and sleeps during the day), but ‘work’ doesn’t hold the same significance as ‘home’.

If her little mind could comprehend what I’d like her to know, I’d tell her this: Daddy does all of this for us! He loves us so much that he sacrifices birthdays, holidays, weddings, and other special occasions so we can have this beautiful life together. He has made mommy’s dream come true of being able to be home with you. He’s the reason we can snuggle all morning if we want to and we don’t need to rush out of the house. He’s the reason mommy can make crafts, meals, and cookies with you. He provides anything and everything we may need.

I’d also like her to know it hasn’t come easily. I want her to know how hard Daddy works and how dangerous his job is. I want her to know how hard we fought to keep our family strong through the difficult and uncertain times. I want her to understand that our blessings come from brutally hard hours in the cold, rain, and snow.

I’m hopeful that one day she will look back on her childhood with thankfulness that mom was able to raise her. I’m certain that she’ll understand and appreciate what her dad has done to provide her with all her heart desires and more. Most of all I hope she’s watching and learning how to be a hard worker, an independent woman, a strong mother, and a grateful soul.

It is very easy to find the negatives in oilfield life and dwell on them, especially when you live it day in and day out! Often I find myself complaining about how hard it is to have him on a hitch, or how tired he is, or how exhausted I am, or how hard it is to reconnect! But then I look at my little girl and I am absolutely overwhelmed with how thankful I am that I have the opportunities that I do! More than anything, I want her to know how precious this time is! As hard as is it to have him away for two weeks, it’s incredible to have time home for two. It may not fit into the realm of societal ‘normal’, but it works for us.

So, baby girl, I want you to know that mommy loves you, and daddy loves you. I want you to know that there is always something positive in every difficult situation. I want you to know the value of a good job and being thankful. I want you to know everything we do, as your parents, is to benefit you. I want you to know that we just want you to be happy and your life to be fulfilled. We may not be like everyone else’s family. Daddy may miss some birthday parties and Christmas mornings, but he isn’t missing  because he wants to. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but one day it will. When that day comes you’ll wrap your little arms around him and know that no matter what, you are always Daddy’s girl.

About ashley

Ashley and her husband, Ryan, have been married for 4 years. They became an oilfield family in March of 2011. They live in Northeastern Pennsylvania with their 2 year old daughter, Anistyn, and two fur-children: Kora (the manic Australian Cattle Dog) and Jaxx (your typical lazy house cat). Ashley traded in her various degrees and certifications to take on her ultimate dream job of fulltime mommy and wife. When not throwing over-the-top toddler dance parties and reading the same storybook 104 times in a row she enjoys reading her own books, baking, writing, meeting new friends, trying new things, and saving every animal in need on the planet!

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