I’m not perfect

not perfect1

I have a problem. One thing in particular that I struggle with all too often is that I’m not perfect. Not that I think  I’m actually able to attain perfection, I just hate falling short of my own expectations. I like to feel capable, and most of the time I  do keep it all together –  and do a darn good job of it if I do say so myself.  Every oilfield wife knows how hard it is.   As OWs, we have a lot to deal with on top of “regular” mom duties. There is lots of pressure, TONS of pressure actually. We feel like we need to keep it all together, all the time – not just for our own sake but for our kids. As the one parent who IS home, we are in charge of everything, all the time! I feel like it’s ALL on MY shoulders.

On a regular day I keep the house tidy, pay the bills, cook, do laundry, make it to all our activities on time (with the proper gear/instrument/shoes etc), with teeth brushed and hair combed. I do it all.  I shovel the snow, schedule the dentist appointments, feed the dogs, and read bedtime stories.  I mop the floors, bathe the kids, and make sure we have delightful, homemade goodies to bring to the school party. Then I wake up and do it all over again the next day.  It’s not that I think other people are judging me…..I judge myself.  I want to be perfect.  I want to handle it all.   I want to be indestructible.  But try as I might –  I am not perfect! Sometimes I get grumpy, sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes the first batch of cookies gets burnt and goes into the garbage. Sometimes I want to scream, “I can’t take it!” and crawl back in bed.  But I don’t.  I pull myself out of bed, I clean the house, pick up after the kids, cook meals, teach school, do laundry, balance the check book, and bake the goodies. I keep going.  I do it for my kids. I do it for my Hot Oil Man. I do it for myself.

I’m not perfect, I AM going to mess up, but I will make it through another day. I’m not trying to get recognition or applause. I don’t think anything I do is all that special or any different than what every other OW out there does every single day. But we all need to let ourselves off the hook and face the fact that we are not perfect. When I mess up, it’s OK.  I don’t have to be perfect.  You don’t have to be perfect.  I WILL have a bad day.  YOU will have a bad day.  I might forget to take the trash out, or lose my temper, or oversleep, or forget to start the dish washer……. and that’s alright.

This life is tough –  but I’m tougher…..we (oilfield wives) are tougher.  I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to keep going.

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.

Comments

  1. Yep that’s right! I love this.

  2. Rick N Joy Holman says:

    oh my goodness….all of this is stuff that I have thought over and over. I appreciate you writing this. So many times you sit and think you are the only one going through something like this until you read what you posted and it comes to you there are other who juggle numerous things and when you mess up it is ok.

    • I always feel like I have to be able to do it all – but the only person putting those expectations on me…is ME! We all need to cut ourselves some slack. We might be tough Oilfield Wives, but we’re still only human. 😉

Speak Your Mind

*


*