The Hardest Part of Parenting

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It’s hard to be a mom. I struggle with patience. Daily. I’m sure all mom’s do. I do have fantastic days where everything went smoothly – I gave my all, I was easy-going, I made school fun, I cooked great meals, I didn’t lose my temper, I had great life-lessons to share –  and I go to bed smiling, knowing I’m a good mom and I did my best. But more often than not, I have those “other” days.  The days when I get grumpy,  lose my temper,  and raise my voice. The days I say something I regret.   The days I go to bed feeling awful because I know I didn’t do my best and I hurt my children’s feelings in the process.

I’ve heard people say that you are never prepared to be a mom because the love you will feel is overwhelming. I agree, you don’t know what love at first sight is until the moment you become a mom – but to me, that’s the easy part.  It’s easy to love your kids. The hard part is loving yourself when you feel you have failed your kids.  I think that’s what you are not prepared for. That’s the hard part. It’s simple to love this precious little part of you that has your stubborn streak and your husband’s eyes, and whose laugh is the sweetest sound you have ever heard. No matter what they do, you will still love them and you will forgive them.  That will be easy and natural.  But what about when you mess up?  What happens when you feel you are not doing a good job at raising this precious little bundle that you love more than life? What happens when you feel less than worthy?  It will happen.  You’re human.  You will make a mistake from time to time – or if you are like me, it will happen on a regular basis. No matter how many times I mess up, I still feel horrible afterwards.  To me, it’s the worst feeling in the world. That is the hard part.

What happens when one of your kids loses their temper, or gets in trouble? There’s some sort of lecture/lesson, then a punishment, then on with life, right? We don’t dwell on it. As a mom, I don’t hold grudges.  We forgive and forget.  I think we need to be as quick to forgive ourselves as we are to forgive our kids, even if it’s hard. Even if it seems impossible.  We need to forgive ourselves for our sake, and for theirs.  Our kids aren’t expecting us to be perfect.  They love us unconditionally, just like we love them. In fact, they learned that from us.  I try to be patient, kind, and gentle, but I know I will slip up sometimes. I will keep asking God for patience and strength, I will do my best, I will learn from and try not to repeat my mistakes….and then I will  try to cut myself some slack.  Tomorrow is a new day and a second chance.  Maybe I’ll even be able to go to bed smiling after one of those bad days because I’ll be thankful I get another chance, and I’ll do my best to make tomorrow one the “good” days.

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.

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