Sleepless Nights

sleepless

One of the very worst things about being an oilfield wife are the sleepless nights. Of course we all sleep better with our men by our sides, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.  I do miss my husband while he’s gone, but I’m not referring sleeplessness due to missing his companionship. I have sleepless and restless nights quite often, and it boils down to the fact that  I get scared. That’s not easy for me to admit because I like being independent and strong. It seems as the hitch goes along, it’s harder and harder for me to sleep in general, and I’m sure that has a lot to do with actually missing my Hot Oil Man and feeling lonesome. My bedtimes get later and later as the two week hitch goes by. I’m also in high alert mode the whole time my husband is gone. The tiniest noise will wake me up. It’s like I can’t turn off my eyes and ears, even if I want to.  Not that I live in constant fear, but I am in protector mode. ALL the time. I am the sole protector and only parent when my Hot Oil Man is away. The safety and well being of my children and myself, depend on me and me alone – – so I’d better not sleep through anything dangerous whether it’s fire, flood, or attack.

Last night one of our outdoor motion-sensor lights turned on around midnight, which woke me up with an immediate adrenaline rush. After investigation, it was just an annoying neighbor’s dog that roams around at night, but of course I was wide awake and wired after that, which lead to another sleepless night. I have protection and I’m not really worried that anything will happen to us, but that doesn’t help me calm down and sleep. I can’t rationalize away my fears. When I hear a noise in the night my mind starts to think things. Overall we live in a safe place; a nice mixture of some privacy, but yet not too remote. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling scared from time to time. I’m not whining, I’m not crying, I’m not complaining, and I’m not saying I can’t handle it…I just wish I knew a way that I could sleep better.  It seems impossible to turn off my brain, my eyes, and my ears while my Hot Oil Man is away.
Does anyone else have these issues?

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.

Comments

  1. Absolutely!!!! 3am is a typical bedtime for me. I’ve tried all the sleep stuff (OTC) & it makes me sleep too many hours! It’s hard to be alone & be a women.
    We rent & I leave the back porch light on 24/7. My landlord asked if I knew I left it on. I’m like, yes! I do that on purpose! Sigh. The things women go through that men just can’t understand.

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