When My Oil Man is Away

awayThe oilfield life is a unique way of life. We sacrifice family time – to get more family time. Our men work away from home for weeks or months at a time, so that they can have weeks and months at home. The way of life that we have chosen comes with its own particular set of pros and cons. There’s a flip side to everything.  What’s good can be bad, what’s negative can be a positive, what’s up can be down……

While my Hot Oil Man is gone I get to sleep in the middle of the bed. I don’t have to cook as much. I get to pick what to watch on TV. We stick to a schedule and things run smoothly.

Which also means
While my Hot Oil man is gone I don’t sleep well and  I feel lonesome. I’m stressed by our busy day to day schedule, and I don’t have any time to relax.

When my HOM is gone, the kids behave better and are more focused on school.
Which means –
When my HOM is gone my kids only have one parent to cheer them on and help with life’s problems. They miss their dad.

When my HOM is home I have another person competing for my time and attention. It’s more difficult to maintain our daily schedule and keep up on who needs to be where and when. When my HOM is home there is more laundry to do, and an extra person to clean up after.
Which also means –
When my HOM is home he helps with the housework and also helps take the kids to their activities. He also takes care of car maintenance and yard work. What a relief.

When my HOM is home he wants to have fun. He is on vacation mode. He thinks any time is a good time to go somewhere with no regard for school, weekly extracurricular activities, baths, or bedtimes.
Which means –
When My HOM is home we get so much quality time together. Whether it’s just playing in the yard for an hour, or going to the mountains for the day, or going to Disneyland for a week.  I love our family time. Families who play together, stay together.

Our oilfield lives are filled with big ol’ gray areas.  What’s black can sometimes be white. We don’t get the good without getting the bad right along with it, too.  You just have to tolerate the negatives while you focus on the positives. That’s the oilfield way of life.

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.


  1. Loved this!!!! I can soooo relate to everything you said!
    I also homeschool. It’s def better for this lifestyle! 😉

  2. Rayna Vance says:

    I’m new to this. We’ve been together for 11 months now and I’m still not sure if the money is really worth him being gone half the time. I miss him so much, and when he is home we have to worry about him going and picking up his kids, two hours away, on the weekends only, because they have school during the week. On top of that, with the oilfield slump going on he has already had one pay cut, and they are talking about another one, so no way can I quit work and stay home to spend those precious two weeks with him. I love being able to read blogs and posts that let me know there are other women living this lifestyle, but I still feel alone, because I haven’t been married to him from the beginning. We have a blending family on top of an oilfield family. Does anyone know about other similar circumstances?

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