I think I’m losing my mind

mindI don’t know which straw actually broke the camel’s back, but it’s finally happened. I have lost my mind. It’s gone. I don’t know if it’s from the pressures of being an Oilfield wife, or a home-school mom, or just being in my mid-thirties that caused it. I’ve passed forgetful, I’m beyond scatterbrained, I’ve reached full blown loony.

I can’t go anywhere without forgetting SOMETHING. My phone. The package I was going to the post office to mail. My shopping list. Whatever it may be. So far I’ve never left one of the kids behind, but I assume that’s partly because they are old enough to say, “Hey mom! Wait for me!” Maybe if my shopping list could talk I wouldn’t forget it either.

While at home one morning, I made a cup of coffee. Then misplaced it. (This happens fairly often but normally I find it after while, usually while it’s still warm.) Well this particular day I couldn’t find it anywhere. I gave up and decided I’d find it eventually on a random shelf somewhere, maybe when I dusted the house on Saturday. Anyhow, I finally made myself another cup of coffee. Well I’ll be danged if I didn’t lose that one, too! I gave up completely and decided coffee just wasn’t meant to be that day. Hours later I found BOTH cups of (cold) coffee sitting side by side on the kitchen counter. Hidden right out in plain view. Yep, I have lost my mind.

Somehow I manage to get through our days. I have school planned out, I have meals panned out, I pay all the bills on time, and we never miss an appointment or extra curricular activity. But that must be the full capacity of my brain because everything else seems to slide right out. I lost my car keys…and found them in freezer. I bought a shirt I liked and brought it home to find I already had one just like it. Actually I’ve done that several times. Once, I went to town with make up on only one eye. I forget what’s inside Christmas presents after they are wrapped. I am a loony toon!

Maybe my ditziness is because of my personality, or because I’m blonde, or because I’m reaching middle age. Maybe the responsibilities of being a stay at home oilfield mom are more than my little brain can handle. But I prefer to think the real reason behind all the forgetfulness is the constant multi-tasking going on in my head – like all moms. Day in and day out my brain is working on 20 different things at once – making grocery lists, working on lesson plans, trying to mesh kid’s schedules with dad’s work hitches, budgeting, shopping, the to-do list goes on and on. My brain never turns off. My mind is working ALL the time. I am always planning, scheduling and thinking ahead – which causes me to lose focus on the smaller tasks at hand.

At least I feel better justifying it that way. That’s sounds so much nicer than admitting I have gone completely nuts.

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.

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