Learning to Sleep Alone… Again

Learning to Sleep Alone... AgainWe recently moved into a new house 4 miles from the one we were living in.  Actually, it’s an old house in the sense that it’s my childhood home that I grew up in.

And when I was growing up in this house, some strange things happened. My parents didn’t believe me until years after I left the nest, but to this day, I still can’t explain some things that happened.  When I was a teenager, I would have said with no hesitation that there was a ghost in my room.  These days I’ve tried to convince myself that it was all a trick of my mind and that thinking went really well… until I moved my children into my old room.  Not that anything has happened (that I know of) but it really has brought up many of my old fears.

I never actually SAW a ghost/spirit/apparition.  Most of what I (and some of my friends) experienced was just an uneasy feeling.  Sometimes I heard footsteps.  Once, I thought I heard someone whisper “hello”.  My belongings were often not where I left them, and sometimes things would fall on the floor when I was certain they were secure.  I experienced a lot of electronic issues, things like TVs turning on and off by themselves.  My curling iron would turn on in the middle of the night by itself, which was probably the most dangerous event.  One night a friend was sleeping over and we both heard hangers moving in my closet; but, to be honest, we had been drinking, so who knows how reliable our memories are.

Really it can all be explained away as imagination or wiring glitches.  And I remind myself of this daily.

After I moved out, my parents had a few house guests that have reported similar things, and that’s when my parents started to think that maybe I WASN’T full of it.

I was so happy that the oilfield schedule just so happened to allow my husband to be here for our first week.  I was really nervous about sleeping here.  He knows the stories, he thinks I’m crazy, and mostly we’ve reached the point where we just don’t talk about the “G” word.  Which is best, because I don’t need the kids to be scared.  Yet, even with my husband sleeping beside me, I had some crazy scary dreams that first week.  I had this one dream about doors slamming by themselves and I woke up unsure if I was recalling a memory from my childhood or if it had all been a dream.  Hours later, I realized it had only been a dream.

So, here I am. A woman who has become accustomed to sleeping alone, and yet I feel like I’m having to learn to do it all over again.  At night, my senses are a bit heightened, listening for bumps in the night.  My hair stands up on the back of my neck sometimes and I tell myself I’m psyching myself out -which I think I am.   But no matter how much I think I’m imagining things, I just can’t get out of the old habits I had when I lived here as a kid like making sure I never walked through a dark room.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  A grown woman!

The other night when I was tucking the kids in, a shadow passed across the wall.  I tried my best to act like I didn’t see it and wasn’t scared, but both the boys started yelling something about a ghost.  They calmed down quickly and went to sleep, though.  I think it was just a large bug that crawled over the lightbulb, but it sure unsettled me.

About rheanna

Rheanna is a stay-at-home mom to two children. She is a lifetime resident of New Mexico and her Oilfield Man works on the North Slope of Alaska, averaging 4 weeks on and 2 off. In her previous life she was a bookkeeper and boiler technician for her father’s plumbing company. She enjoys hiking, horseback riding, motorsports and pretending not to kill her garden. Cooking is a favorite past time, but unfortunately a lifelong allergy to crafting supplies and a debilitating ineptitude with a glue gun prevent her from spending too much time on Pinterest.

Comments

  1. Frackingwife says:

    I am having the same problem
    My hubby’s been in douglas wyoming for 3 weeks and I am just not use to him not in bed next to me
    I been a oilfield wide for almost a year now but has not got any easier

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