Rediscovering Him

Rediscovering Him #realoilfieldwivesI know I’m not the only wife who has felt like she has a stranger in her bed. After weeks of being away from one another, while it’s amazingly nice, there is an odd sense of awkwardness in the air. Ok, I also admit that it’s also incredibly hot (what have I got to hide?).

For women out there wondering what they’re missing, allow me to enlighten you…

It is a bit like a first date. A first kiss. Undressing in front of someone for the first time. It’s intense shyness as his fingertips brush against your skin for the first time in weeks. Exhilarating doesn’t even begin to cover it. You know him, you love him, hell, you’re even married to him and somehow it feels brand new every single time. Go ahead; feel jealous a little, I’ll wait…

Then comes the absolute joy of rediscovering him. Every inch of him; mind, body, and soul.

Start with a date. After all, you haven’t been on one since the last days away started (that’s a given), maybe even longer. Go late. Somewhere nice. Dress up a little and under-dress underneath. Wear a new perfume, or an old favorite of his you only wear when he comes home. Entice him, flirt, and do something unexpected (for me, this means having a glass of wine, or two, at dinner…I never do that, he knows something is up!). Be playful and fun. Flirt some more. Oh! And wear heels (note: keep them on for most of the night, too)! Feel sexy, trust me he will notice.


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While at dinner talk to him. Tell him you missed him. Tell him you appreciate him. Tell him about everything you did while he was gone. Tell him what you want to do to him when you get home (wait until dinner is almost done for this one, you don’t want to rush your meal). In turn, listen to him. I’m sure he’s anxious to do the same. The point here is, reconnect your minds first, the rest will follow.

I’ve learned a few things about what to do when you have him all to yourself. Why it took me so long to figure out how to “get him back” I’ll never know. For years I felt so disconnected and peculiar around him when he first came home. By the time we were in sync again it was time for him to leave. Not anymore.

Be confident. For me, even after 5 years of marriage, this is still a struggle. I can tell you, however, that doing something bold is incredibly empowering. Be bold. Touch him, everywhere. He works hard for those muscles, ladies. Enjoy them! Trace them with whatever your heart desires and memorize them. Pay attention to every chiseled detail of his body. I learned to appreciate his body again. I never stopped appreciating it, but I stopped looking and noticing. Notice. I promise you will not be sorry, Hold him like you did when you first met. Want him like you did when you first met. Feel him like you used to, or like you never have before.

Minds connected – check.

Bodies connected – check.

Love him loving you. Your souls already know what to do. Their connection never breaks; this lifestyle has already proven that.

About ashley

Ashley and her husband, Ryan, have been married for 4 years. They became an oilfield family in March of 2011. They live in Northeastern Pennsylvania with their 2 year old daughter, Anistyn, and two fur-children: Kora (the manic Australian Cattle Dog) and Jaxx (your typical lazy house cat). Ashley traded in her various degrees and certifications to take on her ultimate dream job of fulltime mommy and wife. When not throwing over-the-top toddler dance parties and reading the same storybook 104 times in a row she enjoys reading her own books, baking, writing, meeting new friends, trying new things, and saving every animal in need on the planet!

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