They Will Never Understand

They Will Never Understand #realoilfieldwives“I spoke to Oilman yesterday morning,” the friend said, “he sounded really tired.”  The friend was genuinely surprised that he sounded exhausted and beat down.  I might have given that person an exaggerated eye roll.

I feel like a parent who has told their child something A MILLION TIMES ALREADY!  I get exasperated when people close to us seem astonished by something in our normal routine.  He is always tired towards the end of a hitch, especially when he has been on nights.  I don’t expect an acquaintance to know this, but it would be nice if our close friends and family did.  This is only after I have talked and talked about the hours that Oilman works and the sleep he regularly doesn’t get.  Are people just not even listening to the words that I’m saying?  Hold on while I go beat my head up against a wall.

The longer I am an oilfield wife the more it is confirmed that people will never fully comprehend the hours that men and women in the oilfield work and the strain it causes.  I try to get the truth out there.  I will explain things until I’m blue in the face, only to get a comment from someone that lets me know they still don’t get it.  This is never going to change.  I’m not sure if people think that parts of the job are exaggerated and unbelievable, or if they simply aren’t listening.

I think it is the feeling of being misunderstood and alone that draws women to this site.  It is our need to feel like at least one singular other person on this planet knows what we are going through.  This need make us get so excited when we read a blog post written by a fellow oilfield wife that aligns perfectly with our own experiences.  It is the realization that somewhere across the United States, someone else is going through the same thing.  Praise Jesus and Hallelujah, fellow oilfield wife, you get me.  It makes me feel like less of a crazy person to see that other people are sharing my same highs, lows, and in-betweens.

I will still try to tell people why we chose this job and what it really looks like.  I do have friends and family who have listened to me over the years and do see what it is really like, but many others don’t.  One day a thought came to my head after I was on the receiving end of yet another uneducated and offensive comment relating to oilfield life (I wanted to slap them).  I wondered how many times I had made an insensitive and stupid comment to someone else.  Maybe I failed to recognize what a friend was living through because it was something I had not experienced and just didn’t get.  How could I expect others to understand what I was going through when I failed to do the same?

I think many people are so focused on what is happening to themselves, that they don’t even realize what they are doing or saying to those around them.  I don’t want to be that person to someone else.  I don’t want a friend of mine to feel alone and misunderstood.  I realize that it is not possible for me to get everything my friends might be going through, but I can at least try.  I can be a better listener, talk less, and keep an open mind.  I can take what I’ve learned from being an oilfield wife and can choose to better myself from it.  I’m still going to get annoyed by people who are being an insensitive turd and don’t listen.  In that moment, I have a choice to make.  I can choose to hold onto my hurt, become resentful, and lash out.  My other option is to learn from it, let it go, and become a better friend to those around me.

The truth is that most people will never understand this life.  People are going to make stupid, uneducated, and hurtful comments.  Let’s learn from this and not do the same to someone else.

About LC

Howdy! LC and her Oilman live in the ‘burbs north of Austin, TX. She is a real estate broker, but you won’t find her face on a bus bench and she doesn't drive a Cadillac. Oilman works in Texas as a Completions Consultant. Don’t worry, most people don’t know what that title means either. LC calls him frac guru, for short. She may be the only woman in America that hated both "Twilight" AND "50 Shades of Grey". Oilman and LC like wine, good music, their two dogs, and cervezas in Central America. Follow the adventures of LC and Oilman at: www.LivingOilfieldLife.com or on Instagram at: living_oilfield_life

Comments

  1. I am constantly asked how the husband and I deal with the 21/7 hitch and the separation. It is all I know and it is the life I chose. Your right, few people understand that. My husband also works nights most of the time and as hitch drags on he is more run down. That is why I usually expect his first two or three days off to consist of nothing.

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