“If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to”
-Anna Nalick, Breathe (2 am)
I play these lyrics in my head over and over and over again before each article I write goes out. It’s true. I get butterflies in my stomach and wait in great anticipation to read comments. I do read your comments, all of them, not because I feel like I have to, but because it matters to me what you have to say. I write for you just as much as I write for me. After all, you are my audience. My hopes are simple: that my words reach another wife, that they connect with you, that you find as much meaning in them as I do.
Not all comments have been kind. Not even close. I never expected them to be. I’m well aware that not everything I write is going to strike the right chord for everyone, and that’s ok. The big difference is my words have never been intended to insult, hurt, or bash anyone (that’s pretty clear). In no way, shape, or form do I believe (nor did I ever) that I am better than anyone. That isn’t true for some of the comments my articles, and the articles of other writers, have received. People can be downright mean.
I don’t necessarily plan ahead of time what I’m going to write about. When my turn comes I write about what is currently going on that I think you might be able to relate to (we’re all in this together, aren’t we?). I write about how I’m feeling, something that weighs heavy on my mind, or based off your questions on our site. Again, I’m not here for myself, I’m here for you (as all of us at ROW are).
Please keep in mind that I share a great deal of my life with you, but you still don’t know me in person. My words are simply paragraphs compiled of feelings, thoughts, and experiences, but behind them is a real person. Compare it to reading a text message. You can’t hear my voice as read this, you can’t see my facial expressions, and you can’t gauge my true emotions I’m trying to convey to you. You’re reading what I’m saying, and I’m over here hoping I’m writing well enough to express my true self. I went into this ready to bare it all. I’m honest and I hold nothing back. That’s what makes it real.
It is clear that not everyone reads what I have to say before responding. For example, I caught a lot of heat for “I Quit” a few months back. Many people attacked me for leaving my husband, and deemed me as a “weak Gold-Digger”. Not once in that article did I say I was going to leave my husband. That article was about me, not him or our oilfield lives. It was about the struggles I faced being an oilfield wife and the vast array of emotions I was dealing with. Some of the comments warmed my heart, some were shocking, and some were comical. My husband reads them as well (we’re in this together, too).
It doesn’t matter how much I write or what I write about, what matters is how it reaches you and touches you (yes, you). Just remember what you write back is reaching me (“…these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you’ll use them, however you want to”). I appreciate, more than you know, each and every ROW reader! When I’m lonely you give me someone to talk to, and that means the world to me.
Please don’t stop reading what we have to say, please don’t stop commenting, and please DO keep coming back for more. You’re why we’re here in the first place. Thanks for being awesome (even the haters)!