How to Survive as an Oilfield Wife

How to Survive as an Oilfield Wife #realoilfieldwivesOilfield wives come in all shapes and sizes, as do their oilfield husbands. Some work outside the home, some have kids, some are homemakers, some see their husbands every day, and others go months without being together. As much as the lifestyles vary, the resources that are needed to survive the life of an oilfield wife are the same. We all need the same things no matter our circumstances.

All oilfield wives need a support system. This can come in many forms – whether it’s friends, relatives, or church family, we all need someone to back us up. Even if it’s just through an encouraging message on Facebook, a blog by someone who gets it, a phone call from a friend, or better yet – a girl’s night out to vent. We need to surround ourselves with people who understand our life… or at least with people who are willing to listen.

Oilfield wives need a break. There’s a lot riding on our shoulders. Being mom AND dad can take it’s toll. I always feel sympathetic towards my Hot Oil Man husband since he has to spend so much time away from us. But the truth is, he gets time off. When he’s at work – he gets a break from us. When he’s home – he’s in vacation mode getting a break from work. I don’t ever get a break… I’m always mom and I’m always running the ship no matter the day. I’m not complaining, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well… maybe I’d change one thing, I need to make sure I’m getting a break from time to time. All oilfield wives need a break… before THEY break. This is necessary for survival as an oilfield wife.

And finally, oilfield wives must have good communication with their oilmen. Talk about it, whatever it might be. If you’re feeling stressed, express your concerns. It’s hard to be in a relationship when you spend a lot of time apart, but try not to let communication slip through the cracks. Keep talking. Work through things together, don’t try to handle it all on your own. Oilfield wives need to realize we are not alone, even when we are alone. We are on the same team with our men and we need to let them help us.

We all experience different things in our lives as oilfield wives. No two journeys are alike, but what we need to survive is the same. Encouragement, a little time to ourselves, and good communication with our oilmen.

About jenna

Jenna has been an oilfield wife for over 12 years. Her Hot Oil Man husband started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they've lived in the Matanuska Valley for 4 years. The family consists of their two children; a strong-willed daughter age 10, and a goofy son age 7. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs and rabbits thrown in the mix. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn't “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.


  1. Hannah McWalter says:

    This was a really good article. I married my oilman in December, we met in 2013 and I’ve had a lot to learn. I’m in the UK with the kids and he’s overseas. It’s a comfort to know it’s not just me going round the twist not having a break. Hi to all you awesome wives out there. H

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