*Sigh* – The good ole’ Murphy’s Law. No one is exempt. Especially us wives who often find ourselves flying solo by the single thread we typically hang on to. Sound familiar? Good. I’m not alone then.
Murphy’s Law is quite simple. It states, in every sense of the word, that anything that can go wrong, will. Uh, yeah. It usually does go wrong. All of it! And it usually happens as soon as he walks out the door…
Here are some examples of how this said law plays out in my house:
- As soon as I lay my head down to sleep, and I slowly start to drift off…I hear it. Someone is about to vomit. It’s usually the kid. Sometimes it’s the dog or cat. No matter who is about to commit this unpunishable crime, it’s going to happen anyway. And it’s going to suck. Nothing will sweep you out of sweet slumber like gagging and chunks hitting the floor at 1:00 a.m. What? I never said this was cute.
- A large appliance I use on a daily basis for very important life tasks will find a ridiculous way to malfunction. Every. Time. The dishwasher starts to smoke, the oven smells funny (like hot electric), and so does the microwave for that matter, the vacuum belt will break, or the TV will have a beautiful line smack down the center of it (inevitably interrupting Paw Patrol and then the whole damn day is blown). Ugh.
- The car will make a funny noise. It will sound like a helicopter. You call your husband to try to make sure your brakes won’t give out and end up sounding like a fool making “phoosh”ing noises trying to describe your turmoil. You swear he puts you on speaker phone and threaten his life if anyone else hears this. Continue “phoosh”ing noises in different tones while said husband tries to figure out if this is garage-worthy. Let’s hope not. We can’t afford it.
- You lose things. Your mind being the first to go. As soon as I think I’m on time for heading out the door for something important something like “I can’t find the keys” interrupts my short-lived success. Figures. What else can I lose? My phone! And my purse! Yes! Excellent! Moving on…
- I break something. On accident (honest!). Usually something of his. Sorry, dear.
- Water gets in the basement. Who knew we’d have a thunderstorm in February? In Northeastern Pennsylvania. Surprise! Water. Water everywhere. Again, figures. Right?!
- …I usually give up and give in around this time. Enough is enough, and I’m exhausted.
So, every day you try really hard to keep positive and upbeat so hubby doesn’t lose it. What good is it going to do when he’s in another state anyway? He can’t help over the phone. Well, he can listen to you, and that is pretty helpful to be honest.
You know what always gets me though? Everything, and I mean it, will fix itself the second he comes back! The line down the TV? Gone. The “phoosh”ing noise in the car? Gone. The malfunctioning dishwasher? That [censored] works perfectly now! Hallelujah! Then you hear him say “I can’t find anything wrong, dear. Seems to work just fine.”